The 5 most irritating habits of golfers
5 most irritating golf habits just begins to describe why golfers get so irritated when people in their group do these things. I think we are often surprised when we play with someone for the first time and realize the have no etiquette or understanding of good golf manners. If you are one of those annoying golfers your friends may or may not tell you. They will however tell everyone else how difficult you are to play with. There are 100 things people do that are really irritating but let’s just start with the obvious ones. 
1. Standing behind the player addressing the ball on the target line. If you don’t think this irritates the crap out of golfers it does. If you playing buddies don’t care that is OK but when you play with better golfers this pisses them off. Then you make them have to ask you to move all day. When this normally happens there is another smart ass in the group ready to make a comment on how you shouldn’t let things bother you. The reason this is so bad is that good players know how to stay still and won’t move during a players swing. Good players typically will not stand on the target line so it doesn’t matter. New golfers and bad golfers just have a hard time standing still during your set up and swing. So don’t stand on the target line.
2. Trying to talk quietly when a person is getting ready to swing is hyper annoying. If we play a lot of golf with you and we know you’re going to be quiet when we swing this isn’t so bad. But this in not the case 99% of the time. What happens when you try to talk quiet is you stop and start and your “s” sounds are loud. So when we are on the tee we hear, ” rumble rumble SS rumble SSSSS ru mble rumble SSSSS.” This sound that’s made is almost similar to a bee hive which we can’t predict when the noise will stop. It is better to just keep on talking at a regular level and be rude than to try to talk quietly.
3. Cell phones on the golf course suck. There is a reason why many private clubs forbid cell phones on the property. If you take a call while someone in the group is getting ready to hit a shot and talk without any concern for others you should be removed from the golf course and yelled at. I understand in this day and age it is tough to stay away from the phone but if you have to take your phone with you follow these rules.
• Put the phone on vibrate and don’t put the phone in the holding area of the cart on the plastic. If your phone is on vibrate and it is on plastic it make a lot of noise. Put the phone in or on a towel .
• If you have to take a call walk away from the group after letting someone i know to skip your turn and not wait for you. Then move away from the group and talk quietly.
• If you are expecting a call let the group on the first tee know that you will be leaving your phone on vibrate and taking the call but you will do your best not to distract anyone. Let them also know is you walk away to talk just keep playing.
• Best bet is to just put your phone on silent and only check for messages after the round.
4. Talking all day about your shots gets very annoying. When we play with you we watched your shots. You don’t need to start the,” wow I can believe that 7 was short, I normally hit it 175 yards, there must have been some wind up there. I normally hit a draw and that thing curved right, this is the worst I have ever hit the ball, you should have seen me last week, I hit it great”. Remember, everyone is so busy trying to manage their own game they are not that worried about your game. You don’t need to keep making excuses why you don’t hit good shots. If you are a 12 handicap or above you are supposed to hit bad shots. So keep your commentary short about your own game and instead be supportive of the people in your group.
5. Slow play is the death of enjoyable golf and definitely belongs in the 5 most irritating habits of golfers. There is no reason for a round of golf to last over 3 1/2 hours. I play some Saturdays with guys in Palm Desert that shoot around 90 – 110. If there is no one in front of us we will finish in about 3 hours on a regulation golf course. Here are a few hints to playing the proper speed.
• Don’t wait until it is your shot or putt to start figuring out what type of shot you should hit
• Practice swings are over rated, unless you have a total feel shot near the green you should take a maximum of two practice swings.
• Looking for lost balls is allowed by rule for five minutes but unless you are in a tournament it should rarely if ever last for more than 3 minutes. If you’re looking for a ball in an area you wouldn’t be able to play from just abandon it and don’t make the entire group help you search. No matter what the group says they get tired of looking for you ball. Once you have lost three balls during the round you have moved into the no look zone. Be nice to your group and just say don’t worry about it guys/gals I’m just going to post a 7 or drop one where it went out. I’m not suggesting cheating but going back to the tee to hit your 5th shot on a par five is a waste of time.
• Putting takes a lot of time, learn to putt more quickly. Here is a typical scenario seen on most weekends. A group of 15 handicappers is playing a par 4. The group then takes a total of ten putts with each putt taking one minute taking a total of ten minutes. This may not sound that bad but it is. A par 4 should be played in 13 
total minutes or faster to play in 4 ½ hours or less. The entire time on the putting green should be five minutes or less.
• Stopping at the turn and ordering a burger places you in the golf’s penalty box. Unless there are two groups waiting on the tee you do not order anything from the grill between nines. Grab a hot dog, energy bar, beer, water or whatever takes a couple of minutes or less. I have had it happen where you have to let a group play through on the tenth tee because one player is waiting for his/her food. Don’t be this annoying jerk!
• Don’t travel in a group to each shot. After leaving the tee each player should move towards their own ball. If you are sharing a cart, have your cart partner drop you off near your ball so they can go to their ball. Take two extra clubs so you don’t wind up having to come back to the cart for another club and delay the group.
In conclusion, don’t be an annoying golfer. If you are not slow, have good manners, don;t throw temper tantrums and smile a lot no one will care what you score and they will want to play with you. If you do have any of these habits or if your not sure ask someone if you do have these habits. Tell them to be honest and you may be surprised.
If you know someone with these habits send them a link to this site! Go golf and have fun.
Jim Hartnett, PGA
www.myhome4golf.com
